Is the Catholic Church too strict? What about marriage and divorce, about priests who want to marry after priestly ordination, about all the difficult moral teachings on abortion, homosexuality, sex outside marriage, etc.? Rather than being a “fortification of forgiveness”, as our Liturgy for the Dedication of the Church describes, some say we are a fortification of unbending moral principles that exclude and expel rather than include and welcome, a wall too high to allow some to climb in, and to daunting a task for others who want to find their way home. Recent press about the Catholic Church portrays us as if we are stuck in “ideological” positions that are irreconcilable for those who want to love and be open to the world. Can I as a Catholic, be open to the world around me and to others who think, feel and live differently than I do?
As a Bishop for more than five years and a priest for more than twenty seven, I have become used to the difficult teachings of the Church. This may sound as if I have surrendered my God given right to think for myself and to stand up to authority. However, as a thinking, willful man, not a cardboard, unfeeling, unthinking person, but as a man, a sexual being, a passionate and loving person, who likes to do it “my way”, I love the Church and believe all She holds and teaches. I am even willing to lay down my life for Her and Her Lord, Jesus Christ. But how can I accept all her hard teachings? This is how:
If I were a married man, and my marriage failed due to my own fault, the fault of my spouse or a combination of both, I would take the time to let a Church tribunal review my marriage to see if the essential ingredients of a Christian marriage were missing or not, before I sought to reenter into marriage.
If as a priest I were to fall in love and want to marry, if I would have taken my time to discern, I would then ask the Holy See to dispense me so I can live accordingly. I would understand that the Church has the right to require certain sacrifices of Her ministers and I would accept these as part of Her nature.
If I were a homosexual person and wanted to share my life with someone special I would not force others to see this as marriage, but rather a form of friendship. I would try my best to be chaste and to honor the time held Christian belief that sexual activity belongs to a man and woman in marriage.
If I had encouraged someone to seek an abortion, I would seek the forgiveness of Christ through the Sacrament of Penance and then work to build a more just society that supports women in difficult times and at the same time affirms the sacredness of life from conception to natural death.
If I were a scientist or a doctor I would respect the embryo as a unique human person. If I were a married man I would respect my wife’s God given nature and respect the natural fecundity of our love and study well Natural Family Planning. If I disagreed with Church teachings I would continue to study them in depth until I could say to myself and others that I understand.
Pope John Paul II set the Church on a solid foundation when during five years of Wednesday audiences he taught on human love and sexuality, giving a positive view to our natural desire to “love and to be loved.” He gave basic rules for engagement in these talks, now dubbed Theology of the Body, which transforms the “thou shall not” approach into a “respect thy nature” approach. He simply asked us to honor God and the way He made us as man and woman in His image. This is the core of the moral and ethical life.
Is the Catholic Church too strict? Perhaps, but She is also faithful to Christ who said “be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect.” (Matt 5:48) If we are not up to the challenge of following Christ completely, we need humility to at least try. With humility we can learn from our mistakes. We must seek holiness, which will always entail a certain cost to ourselves. We must always be “practicing” Catholics, never perfect. The Church may be strict, but as a Fortification of Forgiveness, as a Mother and as guide to the faithful She is always able to help us find our way if we are willing to practice.
✝ Gregory J Mansour
reprinted with permission